The Chronicles of Kal: the Boy, the Inspector, and the Maze

A Work in Progress

Table of Contents

Meet the Cast

Chapter 1: Locked Doors are Bad Design

Chapter 2: Confusing What is Real

Chapter 3: A Boy so Sweet

Chapter 4: You Guys are Fucked



Meet the Cast

Devin Martinez as Kalneiros Milner, Level 1 Half-Elf Rogue

Dominic as Kanzo El Hamel, Level 1 Tiefling Warlock

Justin as Joe Bones, Level 1 Human Cleric

Kanza as Ranza, Level 1 Dwarf Barbarian

Guest Starring: Raph as Raphimus the Bard

And Rick as the Dungeon Master



Chapter 1: Locked Doors are Bad Design

Despicable. Disgraceful. Detestable. Absolutely wretched.

“Now listen here, you’ll be looking for my aide. By the heavens above, you’ll know him when you see him. He’s quite the sweet boy.”

“How sweet, exactly?”, Joe Bones looking somewhat intrigued by the thought.

“Oh best you believe that lad there is a true sweet boy. The sweetest in these lands some might say. I sent him to scope out the mansion, see, I’m not as young as I used to be but a sweet boy like that, well, I thought he’d have no problem.”

What a repulsive sight.

“Unfortunately, when I went to meet up with the lad, he was nowhere to be seen. I tried to enter the Mansion but no luck. The door was locked tight.”

I let out a long sigh, sending my gaze away from the beast in front of me. The five of us were shoulder-to-shoulder in the back of a shanty, wooden carriage guided by two horses and the talkative driver. ‘Uncomfortable’ is definitely an apt term.

The longer the trip went on, the more I was beginning to question the worth of this quest. Our party was just a ragtag band of scoundrels, thrown together at the last minute by the allure of a pocket full of glitters.

“And you, what do they call you?”, eyes now on me.

“Mhmmmmmmm? I’m Kalneiros Milner. My associates call me Kal but to you, demon, you’ll be referring to me as Mr. Milner”, shooting another glance towards him. Vile creature. If he wasn’t an ally of our cleric, Joe Bones, I would have slit his throat back at the tavern.

“Do you have quarrel with me, Milner?”

“That’s Mr. Milner and I think it’s obvious, isn’t it? Working with a tiefling? My, the world is a strange mistress.”


“Wait a moment, Kal. There’s no need to be so harsh on Kanzo. He’s got a good heart, let me tell you what, I met him back during the war, see, trapped in this cum covered hut with just-”

“Mhmmmmmm? Let me pause you right there, Joe Bones. What was that you go by, demon? Kanza?”

“Kanzo El Hamel.”


“My name. It’s Kanzo El Hamel.”

“My my, what a name. Truly demonic to it’s core.” Kanzo stared at me for a moment longer before rolling his eyes and breaking away. Tieflings.

“H-hey guys *hiccup* who uh who’s up for a song? Break some of this *hiccup* tension?”

We sat there in silence for a moment before Raphimus, our bard, drunkenly pulled out his lute, playing his favorite tavern song, “You Belong With Me”.

To be continued….


Sneak Previews of What’s to Come

At that very moment, the booming voices returned, bringing us to our knees.

*”Wait, where’s Raph? He’s not playing today?”

*”Nah, he can’t make it.”

*”Well fuck, there goes one of your guy’s healers.”

A gust of wind blew past us as a door appeared from thin air. It swung open, chains now shooting in all directions before taking hold of Raphimus and pulling him into the void.

“O-o-our bard?! Where has he been taken?!”

“He just… our bard?”

“Yes! The fellow who was just… um just…” my head was screaming with an unknown pain. “W-what was his name again?”

“Who’s name?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Hm? What’s this key doing here in the middle of the floor? Lucky!” Joe Bones swooped the key up and placed it in his back pocket. “Now, where should we check first?”

“Ahem. You trusted me… and I failed you, Master Wayne. Ahem. My apologies, Master Wayne, it’s been some time since I’ve talked to anyone. Had to test my windpipes, you see.”

“My name is Michael Cai- ahem I mean you may call me Sir Percible, Master Wayne.”

“Craaaawling in my skiiiin
These wounds they will not heeaal
Feeaar is how I faaaall
Confusing what is reeeaaal”

“Hm? W-who’s there?? I can see you!”

“To find myseeelf agaaiin
My walls are closing iiinnn
(without a sense of confidence and I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So inseccuurreeeee”

“My god could someone turn that noise off?!?”

“Oh my apologizes, dark music helps my brain juices flow. Becoming one with the darkness… now that’s when I get my best investigating off.”

“Now to prove myself to you all, I’m going to pinpoint some important traits of each you.” The inspector flung his cloak around his arm, holding it up so we could barely see the white of his eyes. “You there! Half-Elf! Kal, was it?”

“Mr. Milner.”

“You, I can tell just from looking at you you’re probably an outstanding type of guy. Very loving. Not a hateful bone in your body.”

“Myyyyyy, how did you know Mr. Inspector? What a perfect reading of me.”

In that very moment, a chill ran down my spine. The uneasiness I felt when I entered this obscenely dark room was coming from the man before me, the man who insistent on blabbering about vampires. I had never met him before and yet he seemed so familiar. It was as if… as if he was one of my dearest friends but an amalgamation of his most noticeable traits quantified in the worst of ways. It was far enough for myself but I knew someone else was getting it much worse. Behind us Kanzo had become immobilized. Not from a spell but from other worldly force. Body stiff, it was if his mind had left this realm. Upon glancing towards Joe Bones and exchanging nods, I thrusted forward, rapier in hand. The blade cleanly pierced the inspector’s upper chest. He was truly wearing nothing but a tight, thin v-neck. The deed was done. My blade bloodied, the inspector dropped to the ground and the room, for once, grew silent.

Another boom.

*”What the fuck. You guys killed the inspector.”

*”We had to! Look at Dom! He’s about to lose his shit. We did this for him!!!”

Life returned to Kanzo’s face once more. Unfortunately, we now had far greater troubles awaiting us. Sir Percible unsheathed his bladed and pointed it at us.

“First you harm the boy and now you kill the inspector, Master Wayne? You few are no allies of this manor. Justice can be the only answer now.”